"Who's the Boss?" 10 ways to start taking control

At first glance, it would seem that positive thinking and Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) have nothing to do with one another. But many of us with ADD develop negative thinking patterns because we become frustrated by our challenges and frequent feelings of being overwhelmed. This negative outlook then makes it even harder for us to manage those challenges and move forward.

Practicing positive thinking allows people with ADD to focus on our strengths and accomplishments, which increases happiness and motivation. This, in turn, allows us to spend more time making progress, and less time feeling down and stuck. The following tips provide practical suggestions that you can use to help you shift into more positive thinking patterns:

1. Take Good Care of Yourself

It's much easier to be positive when you are eating well, exercising, and getting enough rest.

2. Remind Yourself of the Things You Are Grateful For

Stresses and challenges don't seem quite as bad when you are constantly reminding yourself of the things that are right in life. Taking just 60 seconds a day to stop and appreciate the good things will make a huge difference.

3. Look for the Proof Instead of Making Assumptions

A fear of not being liked or accepted sometimes leads us to assume that we know what others are thinking, but our fears are usually not reality. If you have a fear that a friend or family member's bad mood is due to something you did, or that your co-workers are secretly gossiping about you when you turn your back, speak up and ask them. Don't waste time worrying that you did something wrong unless you have proof that there is something to worry about.

4. Refrain from Using Absolutes

Have you ever told a partner "You're ALWAYS late!" or complained to a friend "You NEVER call me!"? Thinking and speaking in absolutes like 'always' and 'never' makes the situation seem worse than it is, and programs your brain into believing that certain people are incapable of delivering.

5. Detach From Negative Thoughts

Your thoughts can't hold any power over you if you don't judge them. If you notice yourself having a negative thought, detach from it, witness it, and don't follow it.

6. Squash the "ANTs"

In his book "Change Your Brain, Change Your Life," Dr. Daniel Amen talks about "ANTs" - Automatic Negative Thoughts. These are the bad thoughts that are usually reactionary, like "Those people are laughing, they must be talking about me," or "The boss wants to see me? It must be bad!" When you notice these thoughts, realize that they are nothing more than ANTs and squash them!

7. Practice Lovin', Touchin' & Squeezin' (Your Friends and Family)

You don't have to be an expert to know the benefits of a good hug. Positive physical contact with friends, loved ones, and even pets, is an instant pick-me-up. One research study on this subject had a waitress touch some of her customers on the arm as she handed them their checks. She received higher tips from these customers than from the ones she didn't touch!

8. Increase Your Social Activity

By increasing social activity, you decrease loneliness. Surround yourself with healthy, happy people, and their positive energy will affect you in a positive way!

9. Volunteer for an Organization, or Help another Person

Everyone feels good after helping. You can volunteer your time, your money, or your resources. The more positive energy you put out into the world, the more you will receive in return.

10. Use Pattern Interrupts to Combat Rumination

If you find yourself ruminating, a great way to stop it is to interrupt the pattern and force yourself to do something completely different. Rumination is like hyper-focus on something negative. It's never productive, because it's not rational or solution-oriented, it's just excessive worry. Try changing your physical environment - go for a walk or sit outside. You could also call a friend, pick up a book, or turn on some music.

When it comes to the corporate world, protocol is pretty much the religion. To know the things needed to do are the basics of productivity, but interaction and having a steady mind makes up the entire thing to true productivity. There are those who seem to work well even under pressure, but they're uncommon ones and we are human and imperfect. To get these little things like stress under our skins won't solve our problems. Sometimes it takes a bit of courage to admit that we're turning to be workaholics than tell ourselves that we're not doing our best.

More Tips on Taking Control

"A Piece of Blarney Stone" 10 ways to empower your communication

The Blarney Stone is a historical stone, or actually part of the Blarney Castle in Ireland where it was believed that kissing the stone can grant you the gift of gab. Yeah, it seems strange in this day and age, but who are we to question tradition? It's not like I'm saying that Santa Claus doesn't exist (OOPS!).

There is so much to know about conversation that anyone, even I, could ever realize. You can go though watching talk shows; radio programs; clubs dedicated to public speaking; ordinary conversations; certain rules still apply when it comes to interaction through words. It may sound tedious, I know, but even though it's your mouth that's doing the work, your brain works twice as hard to churn out a lot of things you know. So what better way to start learning to be an effective communication is to know the very person closest to you: yourself.

1. What you know.
Education is all about learning the basics, but to be an effective speaker is to practice what you've learned. My stint as guest at every Toastmasters' meeting I go to taught me that we all have our limitations, but that doesn't mean we can't learn to keep up and share what we know.

2. Listening.
It's just as important as asking questions. Sometimes listening to the sound of our own voice can teach us to be a little bit confident with ourselves and to say the things we believe in with conviction.

3. Humility
We all make mistakes, and sometimes we tend to slur our words, stutter, and probably mispronounce certain words even though we know what it means, but rarely use it only to impress listeners. So in a group, don't be afraid to ask if you're saying the right word properly and if they're unsure about it then make a joke out of it. I promise you it'll make everyone laugh and you can get away with it as well.

4. Eye Contact
There's a lot to say when it comes to directing your attention to your audience with an eye-catching gaze. It's important that you keep your focus when talking to a large group in a meeting or a gathering, even though he or she may be gorgeous.

5. Kidding around
A little bit of humor can do wonders to lift the tension, or worse boredom when making your speech. That way, you'll get the attention of the majority of the crowd and they'll feel that you're just as approachable, and as human to those who listen.

6. Be like the rest of them
Interaction is all about mingling with other people. You'll get a lot of ideas, as well as knowing what people make them as they are.

7. Me, Myself, and I
Admit it, there are times you sing to yourself in the shower. I know I do! Listening to the sound of your own voice while you practice your speech in front of a mirror can help correct the stress areas of your pitch. And while you're at it you can spruce up as well.

8. With a smile
A smile says it all much like eye contact. There's no point on grimacing or frowning in a meeting or a gathering, unless it's a wake. You can better express what you're saying when you smile.

9. A Role Model
There must be at least one or two people in your life you have listened to when they're at a public gathering or maybe at church. Sure they read their lines, but taking a mental note of how they emphasize what they say can help you once you take center stage.

10. Preparation
Make the best out of preparation rather than just scribbling notes and often in a hurried panic. Some people like to write things down on index cards, while other resort to being a little more silly as they look at their notes written on the palm of their hand (not for clammy hands, please). Just be comfortable with what you know since you enjoy your work.

And that about wraps it up. These suggestions are rather amateurish in edgewise, but I've learned to empower myself when it comes to public or private speaking and it never hurts to be with people to listen how they make conversations and meetings far more enjoyable as well as educational.

More communication tips:

"What Really Makes You Tick?" 10 questions you should ask to yourself: a preparation to self-improvement

Be all you can be, but it's not always in the Army. I often see myself as somewhat contented with my life the way things are, but of course it's hard to think of anything else when where are real issues to be discussed.

Still I aspire for something deeper and more meaningful.

So we're all pelted with problems. Honestly it shouldn't even bother or even hinder us to becoming all we ought to be. Aspirations as kids should continue to live within us, even though it would be short-lived or as long as we could hold on to the dream. They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks… or can they?

1. What do I really want?

The question of the ages. So many things you want to do with your life and so little time to even go about during the day.

Find something that you are good at can help realize that small step towards self improvement. Diligence is the key to know that it is worth it.

2. Should I really change?

Today's generation has taken another level of redefining 'self', or at least that's what the kids are saying. Having an army of teenage nieces and nephews has taught me that there are far worse things that they could have had than acne or maybe even promiscuity. So how does that fit into your lifestyle?

If history has taught us one thing, it's the life that we have gone through. Try to see if partying Seventies style wouldn't appeal to the younger generation, but dancing is part of partying. Watch them applaud after showing them how to really dance than break their bones in break-dancing.

3. What's the bright side in all of this?

With so much is happening around us there seem to be no room for even considering that light at the end of the tunnel. We can still see it as something positive without undergoing so much scrutiny. And if it's a train at the end of the tunnel, take it for a ride and see what makes the world go round!

4. Am I comfortable with what I'm doing?

There's always the easy way and the right way when it comes to deciding what goes with which shoes, or purse, shirt and whatnot. It doesn't take a genius to see yourself as someone unique, or else we'll all be equally the same in everything we do. Variety brings in very interesting and exciting questions to be experimented.

5. Have I done enough for myself?

Have you, or is there something more you want to do? Discontentment in every aspect can be dangerous in large doses, but in small amounts you'll be able to see and do stuff you could never imagine doing.

6. Am I happy at where I am today?

It's an unfair question so let it be an answer! You love being a good and loving mom or dad to your kids, then take it up a notch! Your kids will love you forever. The same goes with everyday life!

7. Am I appealing to the opposite sex?

So maybe I don't have an answer to that, but that doesn't mean I can't try it, though. Whether you shape-up, change the way you wear your clothes or hair, or even your attitude towards people, you should always remember it will always be for your own benefit.

8. How much could I have?

I suppose in this case there is no such things on having things too much or too little, but it's more on how badly you really need it. I'd like to have lots of money, no denying that, but the question is that how much are you willing to work for it?

9. What motivates me?

What motivates you? It's an answer you have to find out for yourself. There are so many things that can make everyone happy, but to choose one of the may be the hardest part. It's not like you can't have one serving of your favorite food in a buffet and that's it. Just try it piece by piece.

10. What Really Makes You Tick?

So? What really makes you tick? You can be just about anything you always wanted to be, but to realize that attaining something that may seem very difficult is already giving up before you even start that journey. Always remember, that self-improvement is not just about the physical or philosophical change you have to undergo, but it's something that you really want.

Brian Tracy has more answers to these questions in his program The Psychology of Achievement

Business Dress - Women

Like it or not, the first impression people get from you is your appearance. When engaged in an interview or you are already hired, you always want to look best. Clean cut, professional looking people get treated like a professional. How you dress sends specific signals to people.

Let’s start from head to toe for women. First of all, never wear too much jewelry or makeup. One item of jewelry is enough. A small ring on one finger, or small earrings is plenty. No big loops ladies. Makeup should be conservative, just plain powder or concealer and barely any eye makeup. No lipstick is appropriate at an interview. It is just not professional.

The woman’s suit should be wool, linen, or cotton/polyester. Stick with navy, gray, and medium blues, at least for the first interview. As for blouses, solid colors and natural fabrics, such as cotton or silk look clean and professional. A scarf says a lot about a business woman; it is a powerful status symbol.

Shoes should never be open toed and stay within 2 ½ inch heels, nothing faddish or multicolored. The color of your shoe should be the same or darker than your skirt.

Pantyhose should always be neutral skin tones, nothing outlandish, unless you are interviewing in the fashion industry. A briefcase is an excellent choice for a business woman, but don’t bring along your purse too. It looks awkward trying to juggle them around. You should choose either brown or burgundy, black or navy, either one is fine.

You do not want to ever distract the interviewer with your outfit, makeup or accessories.

Last but definitely not least is your personal hygiene. Bad breath, dandruff, body odor, and dirty unmanicured nails do not give a good impression. When it comes to body odor, you are what you eat. If you consume a lot of garlic, onions, cilantro, and junk food, not only will it show in your skin, but it will seep through your pores. Gross. Make sure you eat a natural healthy diet so you always smell pleasant.

More Business Tips

The Psychology of Selling Review

I just finished studying The Psychology of Selling by Brian Tracy.

I’ve seen Brian Tracy live in person twice through through the Peak Performers network. I had not heard of him before joining Peak Performers but then again I hadn’t really heard of any of the other major speakers who I’ve seen since then as I’d never really paid any attention to motivational speakers like this before.

If you’ve not heard of Brian Tracy, he’s a high school dropout who began working laboring jobs and essentially backed into a sales career and learned the business initially by being told that sales was a numbers game and he just had to make lots of calls to be successful. Eventually he started asking successful sales reps how it was that they’d become successful as he noticed that many of the successful reps didn’t seem to view sales as a numbers game and that their strategy seemed to be more organized and sophisticated. He started talking less and asking more questions and found that that’s when his sales started to increase.

Over time, he perfected his strategies by using what he’d learned from other successful sales people, used common sense and listened to what his customers wanted. He kept repeating what worked and concentrated on selling benefits to his customers and not features as many sales people often do.

Granted, when you see speakers like this in person, the hardest task is usually keeping track of how many of their CDs and books they plug during their speech and avoiding buying every products of theirs that they hawk. In the case of Brian Tracy though, I do like his style and I found this book to be very useful.

As the title would suggest, the book and CD set concentrates on the psychology of selling and learning (as the book says) about how people think and why they buy. As a person who sells myself, it’s interesting to be reminded that sitting with a sales prospect and listing every benefit that your product or service offers doesn’t necessarily mean that your prospect will be interested or “sold” on what you offer.

One of the parts of the book and CD set that I’ll remember is when Tracy reminds the reader that suggesting that a product or service is high quality and priced right aren’t benefits, they’re givens. We assume these days that products are good quality and reasonably priced otherwise the company probably won’t be in business very long.

True benefits relate to what the product does for the customer and how it makes their life easier.

In a career sense, this book is useful even to people who aren’t in sales-based roles since we all sell ourselves during our career and in job interviews specifically. To follow up with the comment I referred to above, mentioning many of the things you’ve done in your career won’t necessarily cause a hiring manager to want you interview you or hire you. As mentioned above, they have hot buttons too (something Tracy also discusses in the book) and they’ll perk up when you mention things that are relevant to them and to their business.

Even if you aren’t in a sales role and have no intention of ever being in one, this book can help you learn selling strategies that can positively contribute to your long term career success.

Learn The Psychology of Selling

Business Dress – Men

The general dress code guidelines for men during an interview are that they wear suits in navy blue or dark blue. This is preferred over gray or charcoal gray. Sometimes brown can be acceptable but not on the first interview. Usually, the darker the suit, the more authority it carries. But beware; a man should never wear black to an interview unless he is applying as an undertaker. A two piece suit is acceptable as is a three button single breasted jacket. What matters most is that the suit fits well and it is good quality. The trousers should fit comfortably at the waist and a slimmer fit is preferred. There should only be a slight break where the trouser hits the shoe. If your ankles are showing, they are way too short.

A man at an interview should always wear a long sleeved shirt either in white, cream or pale blue. Monograms are not a good decision on the first interview. If you tend to perspire often, cotton shirts are the way to go professionally cleaned and starched. The higher the cotton content, the better the shirt will look. Make sure your shirt fits the neck properly and that the sleeve cuff ends just at the wrist. All your interview clothes should be professionally cleaned and pressed and ready to go.

Ties that are cheap looking do not give off a good first impression. A pure silk tie makes the most powerful professional impact, has the best finish and feel, and is easiest to tie well. The tie should complement your suit, not match it. No outlandish, flamboyant ties are necessary. The length of the tie should be extended to your trouser belt.

Shoes should be brown or black leather. No other materials or colors are acceptable. Socks should complement the suit, blue, black, gray, or brown. A briefcase is a symbol of authority, which makes a strong professional statement. Brown or burgundy are the colors of choice.

As with women, men’s jewelry should be kept to a minimum. No visible body piercing or tattoos -if you can help it.

This clean cut, well manicured image says a lot about a professional man. He should smell wonderful, have a nicely trimmed hair cut and appear clean and crisp. Good luck.

For more business success tips see this site.

10 Power Networking Tips

Effective business networking is the linking together of individuals who, through trust and relationship building, become walking, talking advertisements for one another.

Here are 10 Tips from Brian Tracy"s Power Networking:

1. Keep in mind that networking is about being genuine and authentic, building trust and relationships, and seeing how you can help others.

2. Ask yourself what your goals are in participating in networking meetings so that you will pick groups that will help you get what you are looking for. Some meetings are based more on learning, making contacts, and/or volunteering rather than on strictly making business connections.

3. Visit as many groups as possible that spark your interest. Notice the tone and attitude of the group. Do the people sound supportive of one another? Does the leadership appear competent? Many groups will allow you to visit two times before joining.

4. Hold volunteer positions in organizations. This is a great way to stay visible and give back to groups that have helped you.

5. Ask open-ended questions in networking conversations. This means questions that ask who, what, where, when, and how as opposed to those that can be answered with a simple yes or no. This form of questioning opens up the discussion and shows listeners that you are interested in them.

6. Become known as a powerful resource for others. When you are known as a strong resource, people remember to turn to you for suggestions, ideas, names of other people, etc. This keeps you visible to them.

7. Have a clear understanding of what you do and why, for whom, and what makes your doing it special or different from others doing the same thing. In order to get referrals, you must first have a clear understanding of what you do that you can easily articulate to others.

8. Be able to articulate what you are looking for and how others may help you. Too often people in conversations ask, "How may I help you?" and no immediate answer comes to mind.

9. Follow through quickly and efficiently on referrals you are given. When people give you referrals, your actions are a reflection on them. Respect and honor that and your referrals will grow.

10. Call those you meet who may benefit from what you do and vice versa. Express that you enjoyed meeting them, and ask if you could get together and share ideas.

Take Advantage of the World Around You:

I am a firm believer in the Power of Networking because I've seen it shape my life, as well as the lives around me.

Business deals, financial partnerships and even romantic relationships are all products of networking.

There's no limit to the benefits you will experience from learning this invaluable skill.

Buy Power Networking now!